When Death Comes Unexpectedly

The loss of a loved one, no matter how or when it happens, is devastating.  Each person encounters the loss of their loved uniquely and personally.  However, when the death of a loved one happens traumatically and/or suddenly, most people report an overwhelming sensation of shock, numbness and disbelief.  This surreal feeling can last for days and even weeks.

Violent deaths and suicides can be terribly agonizing due to the intensity of the emotional grief reactions.  Seeking additional grief support may be necessary if you find yourself unable to cope with the overwhelming feelings associated with these kinds of losses.  Help is available through many religious organizations, community centers and medical centers.

  

Common emotional reactions to violent or traumatic deaths include:

• Shock, numbness and disbelief
• A feeling that you are living a “nightmare”
• Intense sadness
• Intense anger, possibly even rage.
• Loss of control
• Powerlessness.
• Extreme vulnerability
• Overwhelming guilt
• Feelings of chaos and worry that you might “go crazy”
• An extended period of grief

Coping with the trauma on top of the pervasive loss of your loved one can be extremely challenging.  It is important to seek the supportive presence of family or caring others during your time of need. 

People can and eventually do regain a sense of wholeness after experiencing traumatic loss.  Be patient with yourself and take hope in knowing that the lessons of loss will lead to a fuller understanding of the meaning of life.

Adapted from Larry A. Platt, PhD., When Death Comes Unexpectedly