Friday, January 13, 2012

Navigating the Grief Process


Healing from a significant loss is a developmental transition that nearly all of us will experience within our lives.  The grief process demands that we eventually make many adjustments to changes in our daily lives.  Yet, dramatic change is often experienced as painful, uncomfortable and downright frightening.

Respecting the emotions of difficult transitions will initially assist you.  It is important to remember that your journey through grief is as unique as your fingerprint.  Therefore, not everyone will experience the range or order of these emotions as listed below.

The Emotions of Change:
·        Anxiety – “Can I cope?”
·        Relief – “At last, something’s going to change.”
·        Fear– “How am I going to resume my life?”
·        Denial – “I’m just fine.”
·        Shock – “This is harder than I thought it was going to be.”
·        Fear – “I don’t think I can get through this.”
·        Threat – “I can’t get through this.”
·        Guilt – “I should’ve _________”
·        Disillusionment – “I quit, this isn’t working for me.”
·        Depression – “My future is hopeless.”
·        Hostility – “I’ll get through this if it kills me!”
·        Gradual Acceptance – “I can see myself in the future.”
·        Moving Forward – “My new life can be fulfilling and rewarding.”

What is Grief work?
“Grief work” includes the processes that a mourner needs to complete before resuming daily life.  This can include "completing" your relationship with the person who died, readjusting to a world without him or her and forming a new identity and relationships.  Understanding the Six Needs of Mourning may be helpful to you as embrace your healing process.

The Six Needs of Mourning:
·        Acknowledge the reality of the death.
·        Embrace the pain of the loss.
·        Remember the person who died
·        Develop a new self-identity
·        Search for meaning
·        Receive on-going support from others.

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